You are over thirty years old. 

Come on. It’s time. Wake up. It’s already eight AM. And you’ve already snoozed it twice. Pick up your smartphone device. Scan your fingerprint. Scan it once more. Unlock your screen. Let the screen light punch your eyes. Connect. See your notifications. Head to the bathroom. Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Promise to eat less carbs. Promise to work out more. Make a promise. To yourself. Start the day with some promises. To yourself. Don’t worry. Nobody can hear you. Brush your teeth. Use your Oral-B iO electric toothbrush. 15 secs per tooth. Fuck! You need a brush head replacement. Again. Nothing lasts. Maybe try the cross-action one next. Whatever that is. Throw some cold water on your face. Clean your face with the face cleaning scrub. Apply it. Apply it gently. Scrub around. Scrub well. Dry your skin. Pat the towel gently. Apply eye-cream. Apply moisturiser. Wash your hands. Check your smartphone device. Check your notifications. Scroll. Scroll. Scroll some more.      

Take your supplements. Be good. Be good. To yourself. First. And foremost. Supplement your body. Take your iron. Your B12. D. Zinc. Magnesium. Omega 3. Feel good. Make a protein smoothie. To yourself. Drink it. Clean your mouth. It’s full of smashed fruit juice. Make some coffee. Use your fair trade fresh coffee beans. Listen to your Magnifica S grinding them for you. Smell the coffee and remember the time when you used to be a smoker. Make peace. Make peace with the fact that you cannot disassociate coffee from cigarettes. Feel proud you quit. Feel good. Maybe post about it. Online. Share some awareness. Share some hope. Share “3 years ago I would never imagine drinking my coffee without a cigarette but now I cannot imagine why I ever smoked. Flexed biceps emoji, quit smoking emoji, proud emoji, #quitsmoking, #begood #toyourself”. Choose Americano. Choose double. Spread some peanut butter on a slice of bread. Check what your friends are up to. Scroll. Scroll. Scroll some more. And like. Like. Like what you see.      

Log in. Work. Work remotely. Change your status. Be on a call. Have some meetings. Blur your background. Do some subtle personal branding. Manage. Be managed. Be do not disturb. Show your slides. Present. React. Take questions. Give answers. Be vague. Be busy. Think. Analyse. Infer. Be competitive. But not too much. Be a team player. But not too much. Show you care. Do you? It does not matter right now. Show you care. Eventually you might care. It’s a pity. To eventually care and not have shown that you have been caring all this time. Be away. Scroll. Scroll. And scroll some more. Like. Like what you see.

You are over thirty years old.

And you have been. 

For a while now.

Call it a day. Pick up your yoga mat. Put on your yoga pants. Look in the mirror. Say something good. To yourself. Go to the gym. Smile to the front desk. Say your name. Register your presence. Be flirty. But not too much. Be distant. But not too much. Be yourself. Be a downward facing dog. Be a warrior I. Be a warrior II. Be a reverse warrior. Be a cat. Be a cow. Be a cat. Be a cow. Scroll. Scroll the rest of the people on the yoga mats.  Swipe left. Swipe right. Do your planks. Remember to breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in Breathe out. Clap. Clap. To yourself. You did it again. Another day in. Register your workout on your smartwatch. Check your stats. Your fitness age is 22.

But you are over thirty years old.

And you have been.

For a while now. 

Go home. Say hi to the neighbour. Smile. Get smiled back. Have a shower. Check your weight. Add a weigh-in to your health stats on your smartwatch. Check the 7 day graph. Check the 4 weeks graph. Water the plants. Water the Monsteras. Bake a tortilla. Fill it with your vegan no meat. Wrap it. Eat it. Open tinder. Open grindr. Scroll. Scroll. And scroll some more. Like. Like what you see. And get bored. But do not lose your hope.   

Go to the sofa. With a bag of chips. Netflix. And chill. Check your recommendations. Scroll true crime, scroll comedies and scroll the top 10. Scroll. Scroll. Scroll. And scroll some more. Like. Like what you see. And get bored. But do not lose your hope.  

Call it a night. Go to bed. Let the light of your smartphone paint your face blue in the dark.  Scroll. Scroll. Scroll some more. Scroll another day off. Scroll until you shut down. Scroll off.

You are over thirty years old.

You have been for a while.

And you will always be.

Just scroll.

Scroll.

And scroll some more.

Like. 

Like what you see. 

And get bored. 

But do not lose your hope.

There is always something more to scroll to.

Scroll, 2024